Jury Duty for Dummies–Part 2

The day is drawing near…. what makes me say that?  The brown envelope from the County Registrar that landed in my door this morning, that’s what.  “Hmmm,,,” I thought.. “I’ve booked the time off work, added the date to my Outlook Calendar, synched it on my Blackberry, posted about it on my blog… have they cancelled it (hopefully) or what?”

Not that I am unwilling to perform my civic duty, but I am somewhat worried that I will be selected for a trial that goes on for an extended period – I work in a small department and we are just gearing up for a  project with a closing deadline of April 30.. and what if I end up in one of those trials that demands the jury stays in some hotel and can’t go home… how would I survive without my dogs? How would they survive without me? Not to forget the fish or my indoor jungle, or my increasingly desperate attempts to find a good home for the piano.

The other thing that worries me is the possible subject of a trial.  I could bear recommending the North Korean solution in regard to any defendants connected to our present financial crisis, or the responsible Minister, assuming we could ever use the term “responsible” in connection with our Ministers of State.  But look at the news headlines today – 16 year old girl shot in Tallaght, man gets 3 years for torturing a 10 month baby…. how could one cope with sitting through the details of a case like those and remain objective? Or not dissolve in tears?

Hopefully I opened the envelope and swiftly learned that the County Registrar still wants me.  I suppose at this time of my life I should be grateful that anybody wants to make a date with me.  The very helpful CR has reminded me of the date and time and provided yet another leaflet. This one is a little more friendly than the last one. It’s got directions to the court, bus routes, the layout of the building and a run-down of what might happen. We, the potential jurors, get our own minder! I can have a certificate of attendance if I need one, and if I get selected, lunch is provided.   I’m wondering if it turns into one of those lock-in situations whether I will be able to get a doggy-bag out for my beasties.

Some ideas on how not to be selected have occurred to me.  Maybe if I got a T-Shirt emblazoned with “I Red heart Hitler”, or kept some doggie by-product in my pockets? A psychologist I happened to meet today said she could give me some pointers about psychotic behaviour, or I could dress up like Madame Defarge and bring along some knitting.. but then I would be perfectly prepared for shouting “off with his head” for one of those financial miscreants…

Bright side, I don’t have to be there until 09:45, and if I am selected, the chances are that I can leave at 16:30 – which is quite civilised. I don’t have to swear on a Bible or other religious publication, which is a relief as I would be a little concerned about large bolts of lightning or other indications of Godly affront.

5 more days to go.

Functions and Duties of a Juror


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