D = Disaster

2 Saturdays Ago:
The street gets flooded
The garbage bins fall over and the contents float all over the garden
The tiles on the roof get loose
A waterfall runs from the attic through the top floor and onto the ground floor
About 80 books saturated
The glass in the back door gets broken  (again)
Sometime that weekend
All work done on uploading material to new website during previous week in work is lost
2 Mondays ago
No roof people available to fix roof (all busy)
No glass people available to fix glass (all busy)
No money to pay them anyway
A 4 ft mirror on the wardrobe is broken
Garbage bin not collected as garbage is still floating round the front garden
Some time during last week
Large plant knocked over – compost and broken plant everywhere
Set fire to the grill by accident
This Monday
Forget to leave out the organic waste bin for collection
All work done on uploading material to new website during this previous week in work remains online
But none of the forms function..,…
This Tuesday
Leave out the garbage bin instead of the recycle bin – not collected
(bottles for recycling have sailed down to the end of the back garden anyway)
This Wednesday
I think this was the night I fell over a dog,
knocked over the bucket which was collecting the water leaking through the cieling
knocked over another plant and broke huge ceramic container
Spilled coffee over books that had just dried out
This Thursday
A little better – roof man repairs roof
It’s not expensive, in fact it is not sufficient for the insurance company to pay back , just enough to put a hole in my credit card
Glass man repairs door and wardrobe – €230
Joy! I can claim all of €15 from insurance company
Plaster man comes to inspect damage to interior walls
Plaster man will not inspect damage until wood panels are dismantled
No large strong men available to do job
Plan for Saturday
Take down wood panels
Find the web designer
Tie him to the wood panels
Pile the garbage, the organic waste and the recycle material on them
Add the books which should have dried out again by now
Use the whole lot to start a decent fire and burn the house down
But it will probably rain and put it out………

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